Sidebar – A Perfect Parent’s Required Reading List

Bonus Excerpt

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A Perfect Parent’s Required Reading List

Walk into any bookstore and you’ll encounter a ludicrous number of “expert” baby-rearing manuals. Although The Perfect Baby Handbook provides a solid foundation, it goes without saying that you’ll need to read them all. A sampling:

  • Are You My Mother and, If So, Must You Slouch Like That?
  • Infants and Their Little Anxiety Attacks
  • No Ifs, Ands, or Buts: How to Parent Without Using Certain Grammatical Constructions
  • Throat Lozenges of the Baby Whisperer
  • 10,001 Great Baby Names Selfish Celebrities Have Already Snapped Up
  • The No-Cry-from-4:01-to-4:03-a.m. Solution
  • The Obviously Gifted Child: A Guide to Spotting Glaring Brilliance
  • Layettes of the Aztec Kings
  • What to Expect When the Word “Expect” Becomes Meaningless
  • Because You’re a Terrible Daddy Who Just Smoked a Gigantic Joint
  • Creating Insecurities in Your Baby—So He Can Triumphantly Overcome Them
  • The Tale of Peter Rabbit’s Unfortunate Speech Impediment
  • An Angel Fell Out of the Sky and Landed in Our Nursery, Slightly Injuring Our Baby