Sidebar – A Glossary Of Parantese

Bonus Excerpt


A Glossary Of Parantese

Your baby will learn to enunciate English even more quickly if you address her in a high-pitched, sing-song tone, using the specialized dialect known as “parentese.” Some key words and phrases to memorize:

  • Beddy-bye: Time to retire.
  • Blankie: A blanket.
  • Blankie statement: Sweeping generalization. Usage: “Kendra, we don’t make blankie statements when discussing race or gender.”
  • Boo-boo: A minor wound.
  • B-b-b-b-boo: A minor speech impediment.
  • Dada: Male caregiver.
  • Dadaism: The male caregiver’s tendency to make absurdist art when he should be bathing Baby.
  • Din-din: A meal taken in a cacophonous restaurant.
  • Jammies: Size 1 pajamas that have become mysteriously clogged in the upstairs toilet.
  • Kitty: A small cat.
  • Mansiony: A small home.
  • Owie: Term used to express sympathy (from the French, Ah, oui!)
  • Pee-pee: A legume.
  • Tee-tee: A golf neccessity.
  • Uppie: The desire to be lifted by a parent or a pharmaceutical.
  • Wa-Wa: Global conflict. As in “Wa-Wa I” or “Wa-Wa II.”
  • Wittle: Small.
  • Wittler: Smaller, often handcarved.
  • Wuv: Ardent emotion.
  • Wuv Hangover: The painful consequences of too much wuv.