The Perfect Baby Blog

The vast, bizarro world of “The Cute Kid” contest

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

Candid admission: Earlier tonight, I saw the horror movie Drag Me To Hell (a smartly cheesy film about a young mortgage-loan manager cursed by a bug-eyed gypsy). I’m a little jumpy, unhinged. But even if I’d been calmer when I stumbled on The 2009 Cute Kid of the Year website, I suspect it would have […]

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Children’s Portrait Tips, Part II

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

As we learned in Children’s Portrait Tips, Part I, foolish couples are attempting to immortalize their children by hiring online charlatans to turn their beloved photos into cheesy, Photoshopped pseudo-paintings. Don’t make this mistake. Do go the traditional route, but do be aware of certain pitfalls. When commissioning a portrait in oils or charcoal, follow […]

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Children’s portrait tips, Part I

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

Increasingly, couples who want to see their kid immortalized are hiring online services to “turn treasured photos into high-quality digital paintings by putting them through a cheesy Photoshop filter.” I’m paraphrasing. More discerning parents want the real thing, but are wary of the risks involved in commissioning an original oil or charcoal rendering of their […]

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J.Lo files profound lawsuit

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Recently, solemn mother Jennifer Lopez and her grave spouse Marc Anthony filed an extremely serious U.S. federal lawsuit against the makers of Silver Cross carriages over the unauthorized use of this photograph. The dour couple pointed out that the image was used, without their knowledge, to suggest that they, in some way, endorsed the Silver […]

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