“My child must succeed! I will give her every opportunity to succeed! She will learn to write tricky words like ‘constitution’ in a lovely, calligraphic hand, but her vocabulary will never include ‘failure’!” It was such modest claims that inspired me to satirize competitive parenting in The Perfect Baby Handbook. Now, it turns out, that […]

» Continue reading "Perfect babies, perfect parents, and FAILure"

As previously mentioned, Perfect Baby Handbook headquarters has temporarily relocated to Los Angeles. Silver Lake, to be exact. Though the staff and I had eagerly anticipated the opportunity to study L.A. perfect-baby culture in depth, so far we’ve spied only two infants. One was introduced to me as “very close to perfect.” And I couldn’t […]

» Continue reading "The invisible babies of Los Angeles"

I recently popped up in BookCourt, Brooklyn’s leading independent bookstore, as part of the Perfect Baby Handbook “tour.” As this video of the proceedings reveals,  the tour requires me to look people in the eye while making ludicrous assertions about “bird cleavage” and babies who join Facebook. Attention West-Coast readers: In a more laid-back, centered, […]

» Continue reading "The Perfect Baby Handbook—Live in Brooklyn"

In response to those readers (mostly German) who’ve doubted the existence of The Perfect Baby Handbook Worldwide Headquarters on Montague Street, here it is. This is where the magic happens. At least 3/4 of the magic happens on the main floor. The middle floor is occupied by middling management, while junior departments auch as the […]

» Continue reading "A rare glimpse of Perfect Baby Handbook Headquarters"

Prai

» Continue reading "Babble.com weighs in on The Perfect Baby Handbook"