The Perfect Baby Blog

Child (nearly) arrested for being a child

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

If taken literally, the name of my book, The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents, might suggest that I endorse the aggressive perfecting of infants. I don’t. PBH is a deadpan critique of over-parenting—gentle comic relief for those who are raising children in the the midst of madness. Surprisingly, its publication has […]

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The Perfect Baby Handbook—Live in Brooklyn

Friday, May 8th, 2009

I recently popped up in BookCourt, Brooklyn’s leading independent bookstore, as part of the Perfect Baby Handbook “tour.” As this video of the proceedings reveals,  the tour requires me to look people in the eye while making ludicrous assertions about “bird cleavage” and babies who join Facebook. Attention West-Coast readers: In a more laid-back, centered, […]

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Competitive-crawling sweeps nation

Monday, April 6th, 2009

If you happen to be in Phoenix, Arizona, on April 18, and think it’d be both hilarious and loving to watch your baby impersonate a race horse, stop by the Baby Derby crawling contest at the American Baby Faire. Yes, faire, with an “e.” I”m not sure why they went all medieval with the spelling, […]

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Are you a “consensual parent” (a.k.a. an idiot)?

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

Okay, so I read a piece today about “consensual parenting,” a newish trend that’s as worrisome as it sounds: “In the consensual living model,” The Globe & Mail diplomatically explains, “father doesn’t know best. Neither does mom. Instead, parents and children are equal partners in family life.” In describing this North Carolina-based movement (naturally started […]

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