The Perfect Baby Blog

The Perfect Baby Handbook—Live in Brooklyn

Friday, May 8th, 2009

I recently popped up in BookCourt, Brooklyn’s leading independent bookstore, as part of the Perfect Baby Handbook “tour.” As this video of the proceedings reveals,  the tour requires me to look people in the eye while making ludicrous assertions about “bird cleavage” and babies who join Facebook. Attention West-Coast readers: In a more laid-back, centered, […]

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Hallmark guilelessly reinvents mother’s day as “mom-to-mom” day

Friday, May 1st, 2009

Hallmark Cards has often been accused of “inventing” Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, as well as Monday, to make more money. (Only partly true; The Bangles invented Monday.) Now, the taciturn, emotionless greeting card company has hatched a new plot: Hallmark research shows consumers are adopting another use for Mother’s Day. The day that traditionally […]

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Real-estate listings for monstrous playhouses

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

After my recent encounter with oddly spacious play-dwellings, I began to wonder if the market for such necessities had burst. Could Liliput Play Homes and other purveyors of perfect-child mansions still be doing brisk business, when sales of adult-sized—and even millionaire-sized—homes have plummeted? I’m guessing the answer is no, judging from these desperate-sounding ads I […]

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Amy Winehouse to lurchingly scrawl a children’s book

Monday, April 20th, 2009

So. Amy Winehouse—known for her brilliant collapsing—wants to write a children’s book to inspire the young. The smoky-voiced contralto has been living the clean life in St Lucia, strolling oceanside, penning poetry, and denying plans to adopt local children and tease their hair into beehives every time they finish swimming. Amy’s book ambitions, however, seem […]

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Baby product reviews in 5 words (or less)

Monday, April 13th, 2009

I don’t know about you, but I’m perfectly willing to read a thoughtful 1500-word review of a movie like Slumdog Millionaire or the irritating/haunting Happy-Go-Lucky. I’m not, however, eager to read 800 words on a pacifer. (And, incidentally, can I tell you from very recent experience that baby carrots taste great with guacamole, especially if […]

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