The Perfect Baby Blog

The vast, bizarro world of “The Cute Kid” contest

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

Candid admission: Earlier tonight, I saw the horror movie Drag Me To Hell (a smartly cheesy film about a young mortgage-loan manager cursed by a bug-eyed gypsy). I’m a little jumpy, unhinged. But even if I’d been calmer when I stumbled on The 2009 Cute Kid of the Year website, I suspect it would have […]

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Obama tries desperately to get in on “bad parent” craze

Friday, June 19th, 2009

Item A: Confusing a trend with an authority figure, Babble.com’s Karen Bridson blogs about how the “bad mother” craze has cut her “a little slack” after seven years of pressure to “do everything perfectly.” She has never met a trend so thoughtful and lenient. Item B: Just when she’s feeling pretty good about her new […]

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Introducing…Princess Firefighter

Friday, June 12th, 2009

After yesterday’s meditation on toddler vehicles, I stumbled on a website hawking retro toddler firetrucks. Sold alongside these tiny $240 emergency vehicles—propelled by pedal power—is a small collection of firefighter garb. As you can see, the options are completely gender-neutral…. Why do little boys get to douse imaginary flames in realistic uniforms, while little girl […]

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How to guarantee that your infant behaves angelically

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

While angels are generally sweet-natured and infallible, they get bitchy around bedtime, dreading the long hours of tossing and turning ahead: “You try lying on a pair of lumpy wings when you’re exhausted,” one recently told me. “It’s like sleeping on a couple bricks.” I’m guessing that Marie-Chantal, the ridiculously French designer behind these $75 […]

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Child (nearly) arrested for being a child

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

If taken literally, the name of my book, The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents, might suggest that I endorse the aggressive perfecting of infants. I don’t. PBH is a deadpan critique of over-parenting—gentle comic relief for those who are raising children in the the midst of madness. Surprisingly, its publication has […]

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