The Perfect Baby Blog

Madonna: “I’m saving the earth…one tiny, exotic baby at a time.”

Sunday, April 5th, 2009

The Madonna adoption debate rages on. Exhibit A: This clip from last night’s “Saturday Night Live,” in which Angelina Jolie (Amy Elliot) taunts Madge (Kristin Wiig) about her strenuous, failed efforts to adopt “a fancy, spicy, brown baby” from Malawi. The two supermoms then compete to name the most exotic place in the universe to […]

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A modest proposal: Madonna could adopt Octomom!

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

I’ve been worried about Madonna. Not only have her entirely natural, 400-pound cheekbones been called into question, her plan to adopt Mercy James, a 3-year-old girl from Malawi, may have run into a snag: “Our official policy is that we do not encourage our children to be sent into broken homes,” a senior official from […]

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Michael Jackson to adopt—then disguise—baby!

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

After reading new reports that the dangerously capricious King of Pop wants to adopt a British baby, I felt I better compose an Open Letter to All English Adoption Agencies: Dear Officials: If you are approached by Mr. Jackson, please remember that, in at least one aspect of responsible parenting—the obscuring one’s children’s faces with […]

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Oprah adopts a cocker spaniel…

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

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