The Perfect Baby Blog

Angelina’s brother to enable her baby addiction?

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Gossip sites are avidly reporting a rumor that Angelina Jolie is “pressuring” her brother James Haven to adopt a kid. One she can “co-parent.” Oh, and Brad is displeased, because he’s finally figured out that she’s a baby addict and would ingest babies in pill form if she could. Why doesn’t she just open a […]

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Sasha Baron Cohen to adopt African baby named “O.J.”?

Friday, April 24th, 2009

In his tiny, barely publicized, obscure new summer movie, Bruno, Sasha Baron Cohen (a.k.a. Borat) plays a Eurotrash fashionista who “adopts” a black baby. In the film’s sentimental trailer, Cohen’s alter-ego Bruno is seen picking the newly imported baby off an airport luggage carousel and guesting on an apparently plausible talk show hosted by Richard […]

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10 other words Octomom™ should trademark

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

As most earthlings know by now, Nadya Suleman is trying to register the word “Octomom” with the U.S. Patent Office. Seems she wants to sell branded diapers and onesies—and wring more cash out of the Brits who hope to film her surplus children regularly until they are 18 years old. Only one problem, reports the […]

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A modest proposal: Madonna could adopt Octomom!

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

I’ve been worried about Madonna. Not only have her entirely natural, 400-pound cheekbones been called into question, her plan to adopt Mercy James, a 3-year-old girl from Malawi, may have run into a snag: “Our official policy is that we do not encourage our children to be sent into broken homes,” a senior official from […]

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