Monday, May 11th, 2009
Even if her preschool peers are content to fool about with lower forms of comedy (knock-knock jokes, zombie impersonations), sooner or later, a perfect baby will want to master deadpan humor. “My First Dictionary,” a new website created by a “timid” British librarian named Ross Horsley, introduces a new word each day. Two inspiring examples: […]
Friday, May 8th, 2009
I recently popped up in BookCourt, Brooklyn’s leading independent bookstore, as part of the Perfect Baby Handbook “tour.” As this video of the proceedings reveals, the tour requires me to look people in the eye while making ludicrous assertions about “bird cleavage” and babies who join Facebook. Attention West-Coast readers: In a more laid-back, centered, […]
» Continue reading "The Perfect Baby Handbook—Live in Brooklyn"
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
Kids of America, beware! The New York Times has just given your parents the okay to ruin your lives. Op-ed writer/sadist David Brooks, summarizing recent research into the genesis of genius, dismisses Mozart’s innate talent and credits his dad, Mr. Mozart Sr., for whipping the lame young composer into a superhuman: What Mozart had, we […]
» Continue reading "Newsflash: Mozart was average, just practiced a lot!"
Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
It’s a red-letter day here at Perfect Baby Handbook Worldwide Headquarters on Montague Street. Quite unexpectedly, Liesl Schillinger of The New York Times has given the book a marvelous, glowing review. BEFORE the magical process can begin by which a child (boy or girl) is converted to a hero, that child must first complete the […]
» Continue reading "The New York Times likes The Perfect Baby Handbook! Yay!"
Thursday, April 30th, 2009
It was announced today that Elise Tan Roberts, a two-year-old Brit, has been accepted by Mensa, “The High-I.Q. Society,” making her the youngest friendless nerd ever. In this video, the legitimately adorable Elise Tan—or as I like to call her, E.T.—demonstrates the best way to wear a high-pony while identifying the capital of Indonesia. E.T. […]
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