The Perfect Baby Blog

A “rocking sheep” that is priced, in all seriousness, at $575

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009


Ordinary children have to make do with a rocking horse. Special children, whose parents like to shop online while drunk, get to own this $575 “Electric Pink Rocking Sheep” by Danish Crafts. Upholstered in lambskin, this creature is even more amazing than it first appears. Consider the web site’s description:

Most nursery sheep lull you to sleep; this one is strictly built for action. If you’re too old or sedate to hop on for a ride, it doubles as a cool TV rack or footstool.

These are challenging concepts. Let’s take them one-by-one:

1. Unlike most nursery sheep, this one is “strictly built for action.” Personally, I’m not seeing the rigor that “strictly” implies, but perhaps the prototypes were 400 percent fluffier; then someone at Danish Crafts said: “Hold on, we are being indulgent and unfocused! I personally feel that this rocking sheep, in its current incarnation, is built less “for action” and more for gratuitous fluffiness!” And someone else said, “By god, you’re right. You don’t see NASA sending inefficiently furry, pink rocket-ships into space, do you?” And then the boss barked: “Reduce fluffiness by 75 percent immediately!”

2. It is possible to be
too old or sedate to ride the “Electric Pink Rocking Sheep.” I would generally agree. On the other hand: Sir Elton John?

3. It doubles as a footstool: A dead body also doubles as a footstool with the added advantages that it isn’t weirdly unsteady, super-silly, and swelteringly hot in July. In defense of the Rocking Sheep, it’s less likely to arouse suspicions.

4. The product can also double as a “cool TV rack”: Absolutely. Certainly—if everything your family owns apart from this Danish thing and a tiny TV has been destroyed by fire and you really want to watch “Grey’s Anatomy” on top of a pink sheep that wobbles.

Related Posts:
Introducing…Princess Firefighter!
Michael Jackson bleached his kid’s hair…both cruelly and cheesily
The dark side of being “as cute as a button”

What people are saying

  1. oh dale, how you delight me with your humorous rigor!

  2. […] place where you can actually order this “rockin’” design, but according to the The Perfect Baby Handbook, it would have set you back $575.  I saw these in reports from ICFF years ago, but for $575, you […]

    Rich or Reasonable: Rocking Sheep |
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