The new status symbol for doormat parents: Embarrassing tattoos
Monday, June 1st, 2009
Why has this dad paid to have his child’s unremarkable drawings inked on his forearm? According to an insufficiently incredulous report over at Strollerderby, he is participating in a new trend: Defacing your body to show how committed you are to parenting:
Charming, sweet and whimsical, a tattoo of your kid’s self portraits is an artistic, impressionistic memory of your child’s early years.
Sure it is. Now think of your own dad. Yes, that dad. Imagine a scenario in his early fatherhood in which he is so bizarrely obsessed with you that he has your attempts to crayon permanently injected into his arm (instead of, say, glancing at them and oohing a bit).
Now imagine it’s a sweltering summer day. Your pathetically sentimental, tattooed dad wears a short-sleeved shirt to work. He tries to exert authority, but the fact that he apparently lets infants scrawl on him undermines his efforts. His colleagues naturally yield to temptation and start doodling on his face. One inexpertly renders a flamingo on your father’s forehead. Everybody laughs!
When your dad points out that his tattoo is a sweet and whimsical impressionistic memory of you, they stop laughing and drift back to their cubicles. It’s just too sad.