Whatever else you think about Michael Jackson, you must admit that he was wildly creative—except when it came to naming his offspring. As the Washington Post notes:

Jackson is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince “Blanket” Michael Jackson II. (emphasis c/o Google News)

REMEMBER MY NAME: Eldest Michael, youngest Michael, and girl Michael.

What will happen to these three monotonously christened people, the ultimate symbol of narcissistic parenting? Which one will change his or her name to Kevin or Sarah or Kevin-Sarah-Tito first? Sad, sad, and sad.