The Perfect Baby Blog

Archive for June, 2009

Kate Gosselin credits God for making her so unappealing

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

Back in January, Kate Gosselin of “Jon & Kate plus 8” spoke candidly to Today’s Christian Woman about the important guidance God has given her as she’s pursued the path of reality-TV loathsomeness. Some highlights from the interview: On how God provides between $25,000 and $75,000 for every hour that she allegedly exploits children on […]

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Introducing…Princess Firefighter

Friday, June 12th, 2009

After yesterday’s meditation on toddler vehicles, I stumbled on a website hawking retro toddler firetrucks. Sold alongside these tiny $240 emergency vehicles—propelled by pedal power—is a small collection of firefighter garb. As you can see, the options are completely gender-neutral…. Why do little boys get to douse imaginary flames in realistic uniforms, while little girl […]

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Stone-age vehicle beloved by toddlers outsells real cars!

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

This Saturday, the Little Tikes’ Cozy Coupe will be inducted into the Cleveland’s Crawford Auto-Aviation Museum hall of fame. The foot-powered Cozy Coupe—a shoddy, plastic reproduction of Fred Flintstone’s 7,000 B.C. Flintmobile—sold 457,000 units in 2008, outperforming both the Toyota Camry and the Honda Accord. What this means: Sooner or later, your baby will predictably […]

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Five ways to render Violet Affleck harmless

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck’s daughter’s mere existence is endangering her peers, it seems. Hoping to catch Jennifer and Violet, 3, in the scandalous act of going to school, paparazzi routinely mob the entrance of Santa Monica’s First Presbyterian Nursery School—nearly trampling less newsworthy toddlers in the process, reported the Los Angeles Times today. Over […]

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Exclusive: Helicopter no fan of helicopter parents

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

I recently wondered how your average helicopter feels about being associated with pushy, interfering “helicopter parents.” Accordingly, I met with an RLC Bell 407—a masterpiece of aerospace technology—and made a few sensitive inquiries. Its response wasn’t pretty. Perfect Baby Handbook: When did you first hear the term “helicopter parent”? Bell 407: I don’t want to […]

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