After yesterday’s meditation on toddler vehicles, I stumbled on a website hawking retro toddler firetrucks. Sold alongside these tiny $240 emergency vehicles—propelled by pedal power—is a small collection of firefighter garb. As you can see, the options are completely gender-neutral….

WHO YOU GONNA CALL...when your tiara burst into flames?

Why do little boys get to douse imaginary flames in realistic uniforms, while little girl firefighters have to dress like cheap motels in Miami Beach? Where is her bedazzled hose? Why not cut to the chase and have her rush off to infernos in chiffon and hack through doorways with a teaspoon?

It’s wrong even on a pure aesthetic level: Everyone knows that pink and burnt-orange don’t go together. Thanks a lot, Disney.

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