Here at Perfect Baby Handbook HQ, we have a short list of banned words. The first is “Danny.” The second is “Gokey.” Consequently, we’ve been forced to exult in the downfall of a certain “American Idol” contestant through the use of coded hand gestures. Our hands are aching…so much to discuss.

NON-IDOL: Child-rearing error

After all, the key “Idol” themes—destiny, giftedness, omnipresent parental support—are all new-parent obsessions. And this Milwaukee native is, arguably, a perfect baby gone very wrong and a cautionary tale for moms and dads everywhere. He was born with talent, innate confidence, and (if you squint) a slight resemblance to Robert Downey, Jr. Unfortunately, someone failed to instill him with humility, self-awareness, or good taste in eyewear. I mean, look at these. Really?

And now he wants to parlay his reputation as an ugly-spectacles connoisseur and shameless freebies glutton into a post-Idol career:

“I started in the beginning with 15 [pairs], but I have about 50 or more!” he said in a conference call Thursday. “Glasses have rained from the sky! I want to start a Danny line – or a Gokey line – one of these days.”

Don’t let this happen to your child.

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• The upcoming Gokey biopic