FUN COUPLE: The Gosselins

In the most novel twist yet in the unfolding “Jon & Kate plus 8” scandal, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review is claiming that the toxic couple is cavalierly planning to send their eight young kids to Swiss boarding schools, so the elder Gosselins can focus on becoming more repellent in a “retooled” version of the show (called “Jon & Kate Unleashed”) focusing on their passionately petty marriage. The Trib-Review piece reads like a horrific practical joke, quoting a producer so craven that he could not possibly exist.

“The kids will still make occasional guest appearances, primarily around the holidays,” executive producer Benny Temberton said at a news conference outside Jon and Kate Gosselin’s home. “But we’re definitely retooling the show into something sleek, something sexy — and perhaps even a little sinister.”

Though countless parenting blogs passed on the “Temberton” announcement as fact, it’s a crock. No one named Temberton appears to be connected with the show. I checked. As did TMZ. Which only shows how willing the media (and the public) is to think ill of Kate Gosselin and how inured Americans are to the venality of reality-TV stars. And how tempting it is, sometimes, to send your kids to Switzerland.

The imposter-producer was kind in one regard: he didn’t mention Kate’s hedgehog hairdo.

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