Amy Winehouse to lurchingly scrawl a children’s book
Monday, April 20th, 2009
So. Amy Winehouse—known for her brilliant collapsing—wants to write a children’s book to inspire the young. The smoky-voiced contralto has been living the clean life in St Lucia, strolling oceanside, penning poetry, and denying plans to adopt local children and tease their hair into beehives every time they finish swimming.
Amy’s book ambitions, however, seem real and Jeanne Sager over at StrollerDerby is proposing titles for the recovering heroin addict’s efforts, including the catchy They Tried to Make Me Go to Preschool, but I Said No, No, No. Here at Perfect Baby Handbook Worldwide Headquarters on Montague Street, we have spent the day brainstorming titles, too—locked in a conference room with only baby carrots and stale chocolate Easter eggs to sustain us. Here’s our top 10 (in no particular order):
• Pop on Hop
• Pat the Dazed, Filthy Bunny
• The Smack in the Willows
• The Lion, the Witch, and the Witch’s Parole Officer, Lt. Carol Matthews
• Where the Wild Things Are Slumped in a Corner, Drooling
• The Little Engine That Couldn’t Finish a Sentence, Let Alone Chug Over a Hill
• Clifford the Big Red Drug Counselor
• Now We Are Six (But Look 45)
• Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, Hard-to-find Vein
• Curiously Incoherent George
We also considered Little Halfway House in the Big Woods, but feel it would be better if Amy writes from personal experience and of course, she was not alive during pioneer days.
In Other Amy News: She’s also started her own record label, Lioness Records, seemingly to launch her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield’s singing career and has reportedly been pressuring big-name stars like Lady GaGa to cameo on Dionne’s album. As this video reveals, Dionne shares much of her god-mom’s talent but none of her eye-makeup.