Although you know your baby is borderline perfect, other people don’t. Some find both parents and children a bit flawed. Which is to say, loathsome. Many of these perfection-despisers are just hipsters who can’t even tell an anecdote correctly and completely fail to take their peanut allergies seriously.

That’s why I was intrigued to find an anti-baby blog that is both irreverently amusing and well aware of the horrors of cashews. Take Back the Island is written by “a Manhattanite and a Brooklynite” who are both skilled at sustained temper tantrums. Among the things they hate: pregnant ladies who cut bathroom lines, the Four Seasons restaurant (for instituting “children’s day”), the Queens couple who couldn’t think of names for their sextuplets for three months and just called them A, B, C, D, E, and F, and stroller-based fitness routines that entirely block sidewalks, as pictured here:

EXERCISE IN FUTILITY: Blue-gray parents attempt to perform the wave.

Thanks for the tip to Anna Corey-Watson at Brooklyn’s BookCourt, where I’m reading from The Perfect Baby Handbook on Wednesday, April 29, at 7 pm.

Related Posts:
• An epidemic of stroller elephantitus
• What “only children” look like in 2009
• The unbearable irony of the Tripp Trapp highchair