Increasingly, couples who want to see their kid immortalized are hiring online services to “turn treasured photos into high-quality digital paintings by putting them through a cheesy Photoshop filter.” I’m paraphrasing. More discerning parents want the real thing, but are wary of the risks involved in commissioning an original oil or charcoal rendering of their […]

» Continue reading "Children’s portrait tips, Part I"

Today, I had the honor of being interviewed by the Mumfrey Rubin Show with Mac Montandon about The Perfect Baby Handbook. The following people may want to make a special effort to listen to this lively, podcasty conversation, which can be found here: 1. Anxious parents: If you’re feeling the pressures of raising kids in […]

» Continue reading "Friends, Romans, Supermommies, lend me your ears"

So, Charlie Sheen and his non-Denise-Richards wife just named their new twins Bob Sheen and Max Sheen. Max Sheen is a decent enough name, but Bob Sheen? Really? Don’t you think that sounds more like a product designed to keep precise hairdos gleaming (see Vogue editrix Anna Wintour, right)? Not to Charlie, who says the […]

» Continue reading "Charlie Sheen, palindrome-lovin’ dad"

The book came out today, so naturally, it’s been hectic here at Perfect Baby Handbook Worldwide Headquarters on Montague Street. Ken, our associate pun director, began passing out cigars until Hildy, our breastfeeding quips coordinator, launched a protest focusing on the dangers of second-hand smoke. Intern Charlie, who’s shown potential as the newest member of […]

» Continue reading "The Perfect Baby Handbook is an Aries"

After reading new reports that the dangerously capricious King of Pop wants to adopt a British baby, I felt I better compose an Open Letter to All English Adoption Agencies: Dear Officials: If you are approached by Mr. Jackson, please remember that, in at least one aspect of responsible parenting—the obscuring one’s children’s faces with […]

» Continue reading "Michael Jackson to adopt—then disguise—baby!"