The Perfect Baby Blog

“Hey tweens! Come overspend for the sake of our planet!”

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009


ROLE MODEL: Mileen Cyruseen

Some words bear repeating. “Tween” isn’t one of them, as I learned today from this dizzyingly repetitious and inadvertently hilarious press release for an uncoming consumerism festival:

Baby & Tween Celebration LA is rolling out the red carpet for tweens during a two-day expo of tween celebrities, music, contests and more. Focusing on hot tween trends in apparel and accessories, as well as facilitating tween involvement in charity and volunteerism, Baby & Tween Celebration LA has created the perfect event catering to savvy tweens.[emphasis mine]”

Clueless, unfashionable tweens have their own event held in an outhouse in Nebraska. The press release goes on like that, unrelentingly, for a whole page. I half-expected it to end: “And the rocket’s red tweens, their tweens bursting in tweens, and tween through the night, that the tweens were still tweens.”

Unpredictably, the release chose to end on a more sober note, hyping a philanthropic arts & crafts opportunity—”a fun build-a-purse activity with the surrounding message that tweens can make a positive impact on the world by using their creativity for a higher purpose.” Because, as tweens tweenily know, nothing benefits our planet more than building yourself a purse.

What people are saying

  1. Only in LA could they celebrate babies and tweens and turn a 7 yr. old into a social outcast. Really, even if the 7 yr. old is really thin with a great tan?

  2. I like your comment, Pepe. It would have been even better and tweenier if you’d squeezed the word “tween” into it a few more tween times.

  3. If you’ve ever gone to their website, you will realize that it has a more wholesome vibe that Miley Cyrus. American Girl, Daisy Rock Guitar and Radio Disney are all sponsors of this event. And yes, they are going to use tween a lot in a press release. Check things out before you decide to diss them.

    Chelsea Domschot
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