“Hey tweens! Come overspend for the sake of our planet!”
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
Some words bear repeating. “Tween” isn’t one of them, as I learned today from this dizzyingly repetitious and inadvertently hilarious press release for an uncoming consumerism festival:
Baby & Tween Celebration LA is rolling out the red carpet for tweens during a two-day expo of tween celebrities, music, contests and more. Focusing on hot tween trends in apparel and accessories, as well as facilitating tween involvement in charity and volunteerism, Baby & Tween Celebration LA has created the perfect event catering to savvy tweens….[emphasis mine]”
Clueless, unfashionable tweens have their own event held in an outhouse in Nebraska. The press release goes on like that, unrelentingly, for a whole page. I half-expected it to end: “And the rocket’s red tweens, their tweens bursting in tweens, and tween through the night, that the tweens were still tweens.”
Unpredictably, the release chose to end on a more sober note, hyping a philanthropic arts & crafts opportunity—”a fun build-a-purse activity with the surrounding message that tweens can make a positive impact on the world by using their creativity for a higher purpose.” Because, as tweens tweenily know, nothing benefits our planet more than building yourself a purse.