The Perfect Baby Blog

Oprah perfects Michelle Obama’s parenting techniques

Friday, March 6th, 2009

When it was announced earlier today that O Magazine‘s new issue will feature Oprah’s exclusive interview with First Mother, Michelle Obama, this exciting piece of super-parenting news echoed down the hallways here at Perfect Baby Handbook World Headquarters on Montague Street. I immediately checked out the sneak preview of the tête à téte at Oprah’s website, where I was rewarded with this tantalizing quote from Michelle: “I want the children to be treated like children, not little princesses.”

obamaoprah1Though the rest of the interview is not yet available, I imagine the rest of that particular discussion went something like this:

Oprah: “Really? So…no thrones?”

Michelle: “Absolutely not. Barack and I want Sasha and Malia to grow up with humility and a solid work ethic. That was the first thing I said to some of the staff when I did my visit. Make my bed. Skip the kids’. They have to learn these things.”

Oprah: “But you will, at least, set aside one day a year on which to shower the girls with a cavalcade of gifts, including a pair of UGG™ Australia Classic Crochet Tall Boots, Josh Groban’s “Noel” CD, and a brand-new Pontiac G-Six?”

Michelle: “No. I hope to maintain some semblance of a normal childhood without special privileges or unwarranted rewards.”

Oprah: “That seems a bit severe. Not even a Shaklee Get Clean™ Starter Kit, a Rachel Polly Swing Turtleneck and Sailor Pants, or The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett? They are, after all, unusually photogenic First Children.”

Michelle: “No.”

Oprah: “But what if they are really good girls and do all their homework by themselves with only extremely discreet assistance from Barack’s six full-time speech writers? How would you positively reinforce their efforts?”

Michelle: “I’d hug them and tell them I’m extremely proud of them, of course.”

Oprah: “Of course, and then just sneak them a little extra Ciao Bella Blood Orange Sorbetto or the Breville Ikon Panini Press from William Sonoma, I’m assuming.”

Michelle: [opts to stare over Oprahs’ shoulder with an inspired gaze, waves hand, presumably at her daughters; pretends she doesn’t notice when Oprah slips a Premier Edition of Scrabble by Hasbro into her “MO”-mongrammed J. Crew tote.]

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